So, I am currently part of a team to recruit and interview for a position at my agency. Recently, as a part of all that, I was smacked in the face with my own cheerleader. Meaning, I have to consciously edit myself before inappropriately responding constantly with “that’s great” or “smart” or “nice answer.”
I find myself rooting for everyone I talk to, and trying to make things easier. I mean, damn, interviews are stressful (I’ve been there, obviously) and I want to ease anxiety and make people feel better.
I’m guessing this extends beyond those I’m interviewing for a position, which is probably why I’m okay on the phones at the crisis center too – but we clearly do not make reassuring statements there either; my empathetic to the max personality thrives in listening and helping (where appropriate), though.
Hurt feelings make me uneasy; I just can’t watch someone in pain without doing something. I also feel so bad when people are clearly nervous. I relate to all of that so damn much because I’m ridiculously sensitive.
Maybe all this is why I yearn to someday work for myself. To avoid the workplace judgments, difficult standards and hardships, and avoid having to watch co-workers suffer in the same ways. But I think today I realized it’d be better if I never have to hire any staff.
Life is hard, and I guess I’m thankful I’m someone who wants to ease the difficulty of it all. I just hate it when my gut instinct is just not appropriate for the situation in which I find myself.