Posted in Finding My Own Brand of Success, My Unsettled Heart, Trial and Error

When You Get to that Point, You Know the One

Throughout this Thanksgiving weekend, I’ve taken a lot of time to reflect. Thanksgiving is a holiday in which I typically do not travel hours to take part in a family gathering, and instead spend time celebrating with friends {for whom I’m endlessly grateful} and taking time for myself.

So, all this time to myself gives me lots of opportunities to think about the whys and the whens and the whats of the years of my life leading to now.

And I’ve gotten caught up in my consideration of when I hit that point of living for me instead of just living. Honestly, this point has recently occurred much to my frustration. When you take a look at what’s led you to now, you have the benefit {unsavory as it may be} of questioning motives, wishing you’d acted faster… had more confidence to chase your dreams… looked out for yourself more often than you did… stopped chasing someone, and started chasing your path to something great. I daresay none of us look back on any life changing events and wish we’d taken a little bit longer to truly find ourselves.

These days I have the opportunity, though a volunteer position, to interact frequently with college students. It seems like they have their lives in front of them; some of them focused and others not sure what might be their next step.

When I think back to where I was in college: I was majoring in English education – a career I wanted to pursue; I’d given up the opportunity for a position as the art director at the summer camp at which I’d been employed the previous summer because of my boyfriend’s insecurities; I decided to pursue a student teaching placement near home versus across the country at the {very} last minute to appease him; I watched my friendships slip through my fingers replaced by a real relationship; I chose security as I pursued a deeper relationship with someone I’m not sure I really loved.

So, it seems that when I had the world at the end of a string and any decision could have been made, I didn’t take any of those chances. I chose to quiet the fears of someone else {someone who was close to me, without a doubt}, and ignored all of that possibility. And that summer, instead of recreating fun and inspiring art projects from my own youth with campers in New York, I received a diamond ring. And that was 10 years ago. It’s time those possibilities resurface. It’s long past time.

I daresay none of us look back on any life changing events and wish we’d taken a little bit longer to truly find ourselves. Do it today.


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