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Dating: and Other Tales of the “Ugh” Variety

I go through spurts of dating activity. Either I’m really into it, meeting new people, reconnecting with elementary school classmates (really), possibly posting an online profile, and just generally putting myself out there; or I’m just simply not. I’m in the *not* category at the moment, but not because I haven’t given it a go recently.

Everyone knows that dating is usually pretty awkward. You never really know when you should be 100% yourself, and when to keep your freak flag tucked neatly away. Because I feel like we can all learn from one another, here are some things that have recently made me sigh deeply and wonder if I shouldn’t just adopt another dog and give that “Crazy Dog Lady of Lawrence” title some air time:

  • He told me I “needed to get out more” when I wasn’t familiar with a recent funny commercial. {I don’t have TV service at home, and I don’t stand on a soapbox about it. It’s my personal choice and cost savings, but I don’t believe TV viewing counts as “getting out.” Maybe that’s just me.}
  • When I asked about another, far more interesting hobby, he stated, “Since the fall TV shows have started, I’ve had to devote more attention to that lately.” {See above.}
  • He talked politics.
  • He talked politics I even agreed with [mostly] but I still found myself hating him a little bit for it. As if he’d been asked to debate the issues, he talked politics for 30 minutes. Dudes, just don’t do this.
  • His dog was a big old asshole, and he insisted on introducing her to my small, and mostly submissive pack after 2 dates. The short story: it didn’t go well. I’m still dealing with the emotional fallout at my house.
  • Before even meeting in person, he says on the phone, “My interest in you is very high.” And then later, “Are you free tonight?” Am I the only one who gets Criminal Minds level creeps from that?
  • He pouted when I made a joke about not taking the waiter’s pressure about ordering a side of avocado to a coconut shrimp skewer appetizer (?! I know, what is THAT anyway?). I felt like a mean person… I don’t think I actually am a mean person. Maybe I am. Maybe I am the actual problem. Eh… can’t a girl try to be funny without causing a massive case of the man pouts?
  • He said my volunteer work at the counseling center was “gay.” Not cool, dude. Not cool at all.
  • He asked me how I was possibly qualified to have gotten my new job with the liberal arts degree I earned. {Not to mention 9 years of work experience!}
*Please note, this is a compilation of several months of sub-par dating experiences. One human being did not contribute all of the offenses listed above. 
See… Did you catch my case of the “Ughs” too?

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