For over a week, I was a lazy blogger, and then life happened that was filled with so much tragedy for so many and I was consumed and empathized as a result… and telling stories about my starter marriage seemed trite and silly. And my blog has suffered.
But people are suffering right now. BUT people are ALWAYS suffering. Right now, it just happens to be nearby from storms that could have just as easily torn my life apart as anyone else’s in the Midwest.
And as the stories of recent devastation get a little less frequent and life gets back to “normal,” I find myself settling into old routines and social pressures. Those that make me question statements I make and opinions I have, and I find myself afraid that I’ve offended someone. But really… what does it really matter?
We all speak about topics that we do not know much about. We put ourselves in positions for which we’ve never been and hypothesize about what WE would do… you know, the “right” decision. But what’s life without finding out that you yourself are a little bit silly once in awhile? What does it really matter if you’re proven wrong or questioned about an opinion?
I’d like to think that we’re all trying to be the best people we can be. And to achieve greatness, learning experiences and mistakes are necessary for our foundations. I find myself beating myself up for missteps frequently. I worry that someone might think twice about a thoughtless comment. I analyze and over-analyze conversations and intentions and meanings and the relationships themselves as a result.
But I’m going to do my damnedest to cut myself a break from now on. Life is too uncertain to waste the minutes worrying about what someone just MIGHT be thinking about a stray statement that bears no truth as to who I am or what I believe. When I speak, and when you speak, we show others our hearts, our beliefs and our souls. Our hearts are imperfect and to show imperfection is to only display authenticity to who we are and to our journey towards who we are to become.
What I know is that I’m doing my best. And I trust that you are too. Let’s cut one another a break. But more importantly, let’s stop beating ourselves up.
And entertaining stories about my starter marriage will continue. I’ve got a few queued up and ready to share. I hope I’m ready! But if it’s all a mistake… well, I’m ready for it.