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another horizon…

I have never considered myself lacking in motivation, but I think that recently upon reconsideration, my go-with-the-flow attitude has indeed held me back in a variety of ways.  It’s not easy coming to the realization that a piece of what makes you who you are is a detriment rather than an asset. 

I am where I am because of connections I have made, luck and a sense of adventure mixed with unquestionable safety. 

I’ve decided I don’t want to be safe anymore.  I want to be free.  I want to be happy.  I want to feel like I am meant to be where I am.  I want to feel challenged.  I want to feel loved.  I want to love.  I want to be strong and smart and in love with life.

These feelings have become my motivation.  But is it enough?  I need a new chapter.  One that is filled with surprises and the sorts of hardships that are life-changing and wonderful when the end result is reached.

I’m getting there.  I’m finally making decisions without being paralyzed by fear or indecision.

I am most definitely on the uphill battle of this most current mountain.  But I am not afraid… I am excited.  And I am motivated.  I want to feel those feelings listed above.  And I’m going to get there, and it will be worth it.

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