Posted in Trial and Error


August 1. We have officially survived 2/3 of 2016, and I know for many just like me it has been a doozy. I woke up this morning feeling a little desperate for more time. When I’m 2/3 of the way through a pint of Ben & Jerry’s half-baked ice cream I have a similar feeling: a mourning for what is already gone, I guess.

Did I spend the first 2/3 of this year wisely? Not entirely. I’ve wasted energy on humans who did not deserve it, but I’ve given so much love to others. I ate way too many Taco Bell burritos and smoked too many Marlboro Lights. But I’ve also eaten more salads and Lara Bars, and I hardly ever drink soda at all anymore. I’ve tried to be good to people; I’ve fallen short on empathy and compassion often. While telling myself I’m consistently working to be better than the day before, I’ve wasted hour after hour on a Pretty Little Liars marathon. I haven’t run enough miles; time slips through my fingers in a lack-of-focus haze; I still spend too much energy worrying.

It’s a balance. Our 2016 balance is at 66%. What happens with the next 34%?

Like other entrepreneurs, the 1st of the month is invoicing day. It’s not actually as much fun as you might imagine. However, it is kind of a creator of fresh starts every month. You get to (“get to” HA!) take inventory of the month of work that has passed and assign important tasks like value and time to them. Maybe you’ll feel like you accomplished all you should have; maybe you’ll see hours that could have been better spent. But it’s a chance to evaluate and move ahead a little wiser.

But the thing about that pint of Ben & Jerry’s – just like the start of August – is that there is still 1/3 left. And I know life is short, and no one is promised tomorrow. So assuming we get to see the end of 2016, what’s it going to be?


For me:

  • Running starts on the next day I am going to need to wash my hair anyway. (Because, we might as well all be honest while I’m being vulnerable anyway.) These two senseless half-marathons aren’t going to run themselves. Or… are they?
  • Zero cigarettes. Even when I’m stressed. Especially when I’m bored. And when I’m around friends who enjoy the same habit. I’m done. The one I had today was the last.
  • I’m getting my energy and physical balance back with Plexus probiotics. It’s been waiting in my kitchen cabinet for me to have the self-control to eat and exercise like I meant it. It’s time for all of that.
  • I’ll work on managing my time like I’ve been striving to do all year. All my life, really.
  • More creativity. More art. More words. More laughing. Less censoring myself.

Buckle up.